Interview with Ross Dolan and Bob Vigna conducted by Bill Zebub

 

John Goddi has a son. Do you think that “Jesus” would’ve been a good name for him?

(Bob) If you say so, Billup.

 

Are you afraid to talk because he’s a mobster?

(Bob) No. I just don’t know what you’re talking about.

 

Do you think it would’ve been a good idea to name his son “Jesus”?

(Bob) Obviously not. His name isn’t Jesus.

 

It would be cool because then he would be “Jesus - the son of Goddi.”

(Bob) (fake laughter) Oh man! That was pretty rough, there.

(Ross) Got some butter for that corn?

 

Bob, do you go on a lot of dates?

(Bob) Oh yeah. I just came off one. That’s why we’re late.

 

The reason I ask is because you chew loudly, like a person who was not brought up in a European household.

(Bob) No, maybe it’s because I got a mike right here while I’m eating these cool cookies.

 

I noticed that they’re shaped like the body of christ.

(Bob) That’s right. They’re round and lumpy.

 

Why is Tom not in the band anymore?

(Ross) He is very much in the band, but he’s just not able to tour with us.

 

You are all antichristian, but not in a nasty way. What made you open your eyes?

(Bob) We were brought up catholics. Tom’s mother is still, to this day, a born-again christian.

 

She was resurrected?

(Bob) She sure was.

 

You’ve become more angry from album to album. You were kind of cute in the Dawn of Possession days, cutely antichristian.

(Ross) Cute? (laughs) We kinda just touched on the subject on the first album. Over the last 10 years we found exactly what we wanted to do. We know how to voice that now.

(Bob) I think that now, more than ever, the lyrics are more personal.

 

Will you agree that it was a surprise to see a new Immolation album so soon after the last one?

(Ross) We are well aware of our mistakes in the past. 5 years between albums is not really conducive to a career - a big no-no in the music business.

 

I heard that you learned how to smoke cigarettes in Germany. You came back. You lost weight. You’re not a fat-ass anymore.

(Ross) No, that was Bob.

(Bob) I got him started on crack. He got into cigarettes by himself. (They look at each other quizzically)

 

The song “Father, You’re Not A Father” is Tom’s baby?

(Bob) It sure is.

(Ross) Actually, he had the idea since Failures, but we didn’t really get to develop it too much for that album.

 

Is it about a perverted priest?

(Bob) Yeah, pretty much.

 

I have a question about one of the lines in the song. It says, “Our father who aren’t in heaven”. That’s bad English.

(Ross) Metal is not known for its grammar.

 

Neither is Christianity, because the prayer says “Our father who are in heaven.” “Art” is the Olde English way of saying “are” by the way. What, did they have ebonics back then? Our father be in heaven.

(Bob) So that’s when it started.

 

That’s why they were trying to teach it in school. It’s a christian plot. Come on! Didn’t that seem like a weird line to you?

(Bob) You should’ve seen the lines that we cut out.

 

What about the song “Farthest From the Truth”?

(Bob) Don’t you mean “Furthest From the Truth”?

 

That’s incorrect. Can you ask an English teacher to look at your album before you put it out?

(Bob) You’re killing me here.

 

No! You’re killing me! I’m trying to make you look like intelligent death metal writers

(Bob) Well, with this music in the background... (We were listening to The Jethros) Plus, you know, you being Bill Zebub. It’s tough.

(Ross) Bill has no disguise on tonight. He doesn’t look like Yukon Jack. Freedom Rock!

(immense laughter)

 

Dude, don’t give that away! Do you think I look like Willy Nelson when I’m in disguise?

(Bob) No... Willy Nelson on steroids, maybe.

 

Well thank you for the compliment. Bob, your head doesn’t look as bumpy as I remembered.

(Bob) Well, the pictures that you make - I wouldn’t go by those.

 

Dude, you’re lucky that your nose hair is aerodynamic. Otherwise when you exhale it would come out like octopus tentacles and sound like bleh le le le le.

(Bob) Oh man!

 

That’s heavier than an oreo cookie being dunked in fat milk.

(Ross) Oh man!

(Bob) And you want us to be serious?

 

Don’t you think it’s ridiculous for someone to say “God bless you”? Isn’t it the equivalent of saying, “May Superman not wipe you out?”

(Ross) It’s pretty silly. What does it really mean?

 

When you were first signed, you did not go to Morrisound because everyone was going there. Do you regret not going there?

(Ross) Not at all. We don’t regret anything we’ve ever done. We might have made a few mistakes.

(Bob) We always try to do our own thing and go our own way. Morrisound, we knew of Death and maybe Morbid Angelgoing there, so it was an idea we had at the time. But by the time we wanted to record the album, about 850 bands went there. So what’s the purpose? We knew of Harris Jons through Roadrunner, and the work that he had done with Voivod and Kreator. To us, that was more interesting.

 

The thing that I don’t understand is, the complaint that if you go there you sound like everyone else doesn’t make sense to me. You don’t have the same riffs that other bands do.

(Bob) There’s maybe two or three bands that actually got their own type of thing going.

 

You got rid of Sir Craigolot. Why?

(Ross) Craig’s not a bad guy. it’s just that he...

 

Don’t give the safe answer. I heard what you said about him.

(Ross) It’s the correct answer. He just didn’t really contribute anything to the band.

 

His girlfriend didn’t make you cookies?

(Bob) No, and that had a major effect on why he’s not in the band right now.

(Ross) It just got to the point where he felt that he didn’t even need to rehearse. We tolerated it as much as we could. I mean, we were all working full-time jobs, rehearsing at night. Craig was home all day, staying at Bob’s house, rent free, didn’t pay for anything, didn’t work. he didn’t have to do anything but play drums. Other than that, Craig’s a cool guy.

 

Did that ruin the friendship? Like, if he’s tired, do you give him a massage?

(Bob) If it’s necessary.

 

You’re the riffmaster, baldy Bob?

(Bob) Metal takes place. That’s all I have to say.

 

You write the riffs and then you come up with drum patterns on the drum machine, and then you teach this to the drummer.

(Bob) Well, Alex, the new drummer, had a more straightforward playing style when he first started out. He had the stamina, and we had to show him what we did, which was a lot of the odd time signature stuff - just being a little bit more creative, and putting more feeling into the playing. Now he’s become the best of both world.

 

I heard that because you’re kind of anal about your drum patterns, that you make him do everything that you made.

(Bob) Not really.

 

And you also told him that he can’t use roto toms because they are not part of the voices that are on your drum machine.

(Bob) Voices? Where are you pulling all this stuff out of? The drums play a major part in the music. If the music is a certain way, and you put a plain beat to it, it’s not going to be the best that it can be. The drums make or break the riff. Once we work out the basics of it, Alex is free to throw in some things. With the new album, there wasn’t so much drum machine stuff. We all came up with everything together. It was more or less just ideas flowing with each other, and we came up with some pretty special stuff there, Billy.

 

Why don’t you just have a drum machine on your next album?

(Ross) You can’t...

 

I can’t believe you thought that was a real question!

(Ross) Some bands have drum machines. It doesn’t have the feel of a real player. (ed. - Speaking of which, this interview is available on the internet if you have RealPlayer software. http://archive.wfmu.org/archive/VC/vc010128.ram)

 

Bob, you don’t really have the smooth kind of head that would make a bald-look cool. And that goatee’s not working either.

(Bob) I take that as a compliment.

 

Were you going out with a skinhead girl?

(Bob) How did you know?

 

I want to know why you did that because I would be terrified to shave my head.

(Bob) With that face, you should be.

 

Part of what makes a person attractive is symmetry.

(Bob) Are you coming-on to me, Bill?

(Ross) Fagala?

(Bob) Sissy.

 

Were you going for cancer treatment?

(Bob) It was chemotherapy, actually. I have anal cancer.

 

You just blew the whole damn hype. I was trying to present you as artists.

(Bob) Well it’s hard to be serious because we know you.

 

Ok, Bobula.

(Bob) Ok, Bildo.

 

Immolation is coming out with new loincloth underwear.

(Bob) And pajamas with feet.

 

With holes in them, for the nails. (Pushing a button because a caller had a poem). What is your name?

(Matt) Matt.

 

You have called to bestow a poem to Bob. Would you like to ask him anything before you recite it?

(Matt) Um yeah. Can you punch Bill or do something extremely violent to Bill? Because I think that would be really funny.

(Bob) Ok, just hang on one second. (Runs over to me)

 

Oh! What are you doing? this is radio! You don’t have to really hit me!

(Bob) Hey Matt, mission accomplished. Now we’re ready to hear it.

(Matt) The Legend of Bald-Headed Bob... Immolation’s bal-headed Bob - Playing guitar is his job. Promoting Close to a World Below, many wonder why his hair doesn’t grow. There is a legend, though somewhat insane, about his once magnificent mane. His hair was silky, and long past his thighs. He cut it one day to help in disguise. Some holy fellows were seeking him out. They didn’t like what he was writing about. They searched high and low for the man with the locks, while he hid in plain sight from religious zealots. It was clever of Bob to remove all his hair. No one could find him, though he was right there. But no one could deter his unholy quest to keep on speaking about things blasphemous. It was then that he began to receive such high praise, and bald-headed Bob was in his glory days, and he swore that he would never let his hair grow again, despite an endorsement from Hair Club For Men.

(Ross and Bob) (laughing) That’s great!

 

We need to have another poem. How about a particular candy.. Ross’ Peanut Butter Cups. There’s no wrong way to eat it. you know, the body of christ should actually be shaped like Jesus... you know, like animal crackers.

(Bob) That would make more sense.

 

This is the land of lawsuits. When you are given food, you have to know the nutritional content. So I’m kind of mad that when people serve the body of christ, they don’t have a rundown of calories.

(Bob) I know. There’s probably a lot of saturated fat in that stuff.

 

When it rains, do water puddles from in those craters on your head?

(Bob) Yeah. Who told you?

 

Did you take a class in Astronomy? And did they use your head as a model of them moon?

(Bob) Ok, leafblower.

 

Can you tell me about the underwear mosh?

(Bob) Absolutely not.

 

The imagination is probably worse than the real story. What was it? Was it on a bed? You guys hang out in your underwear together?

(Bob) It was England. There were some English chicks, and an underwear mosh.

 

Ok, because the picture I had was of you and Ross skipping around in your underwear. Bob, can you write a poem about Ross? Like, Ross and Jill went up the hill to fetch a peanut butter cup. Ross fell down and his crown was hung between two thieves.

(Bob) And then Bill blew some leaves.

 

(Tom from Mass Psychosis called up with a poem, and I asked Ross if he ever heard the band.

(Ross) I think I met that guy.

 

Did you think he was attractive?

(Bob) I don’t know. No lie, when we first walked in here, Bill was talking about Mass Psychosis and some shorts. We were like, “Let’s just do the interview!”

(Tom) Bill, all I remember is when we last hung out at a Vader show...

 

What? I don’t like Vader!

(Tom) And a certain woman was attracted to you... remember?

(Bob) Was that before or after he was at the Blue Oyster bar?

 

Do you know what Tom did? He went out with a certain dancer, and he kept telling me that he videotaped them together. And I said to him “Never show me that!” It’s bad enough that he’s on stage with spandex. I came over his house.

(Bob) Wait a minute there.

 

He wasn’t wearing spandex. I swear. I told him he had to wear jeans. he told me that I had to see something, and I told him it better not be the porno, and sure enough, I saw his little tallywacker.

(Bob) Ooh.

 

No wait! I meant, it was on the video!

(Tom) Hey Bill, why don’t you pull that foot out of your mouth?

(Bob) I’ll bet that wasn’t all he was pulling out of his mouth.

 

That wasn’t funny! Don’t play jokes like that! Tom, are you sure she knew she was being videotaped?

(Tom) That whole wine bottle scene was her idea.

 

Anyway, one of the songs on the Necroporno album had a soundclip of the girl moaning at the end of the song, and I thought that was Tom.

(Bob) Is that what you were trying to work your way up to? You’ve got to work on your delivery there, champ. The next poem should be about Bill and a leafblower.

 

No. No garden tool. I don’t have a backyard.

(Ross) But you’ve got a back door.