The Grimoire of Exalted Deeds Forum

What do you think of Troma?

105 posts

I always thought I would read an interview with Lloyd Kaufman in your mag, not so much a JT Petty one.

5/22/2007 10:19:19 PM

BillZebub

219 posts

I almost became violent with Troma people on two separate occasions at horror conventions. In one scenario, there were two heffers who came over to my table and I was explaining to Rocco (one of the actors from my various movies) how to be charming to people who were coming up us to find out about the Bill Zebub movies. Rocco and I always ignore our self-imposed rule not to get trashed when we're working - we ALWAYS get into trouble. If we're not attacking other people, we end up almost killing each other (at one convention he refused to enter my hotel room unless I put my swords/knives in the car).

Well, I was demonstrating charm to Rocco, and these two heffers were the guinea pigs, or should I just say "fat pigs?" I was complimenting the hell out of them (no, these were not beer goggles - I knew what I was doing and I knew that I was talking to fat girls). In that conversation, the girls let me know that they are working at the Troma booth, and as a joke, or maybe to be charming, I told them that they should work for me when I am at Chiller Theatre. They giggled from the flattery, and then I added, "And unlike your present employer, I will pay you." They laughed in amusement and walked away.

Leter on some extremely jewish-looking person came over to my booth and was looking at my DVD's in a strange expression. I elbowed Rocco so he could pay attention to how a professional should engage the crowd. (By the way, I was only doing this because of Rocco's past history with me - he had a habit of calling customers "fags" and I had the habit of calling the vendors around me "fags" - so we lost customers, gained enemies, and got banned from a few places - ask Vinnie from Sci Fi Ninja Theatre what our behavior is like - he's got some of it on film). Anyway, I asked the superjew if he had any questions, and all of a sudden he took on a personality that send my adrenaline rushing, which mixed with alcohol and produced extreme nastiness. He talked to me like a kindergarten teacher would scold a child. He began with, "I don't appreciate you trying to steal my employees." It took me a few minutes to realize that he was talking about the heffers. Apparently they took me seriously. LESSON: Never compliment a fat girl.

As I began to realize what the hell superjew was talking about, I pretended that I meant what I had told the cows. "So what if I asked them to work with me?" Superjew then told me that it was bad business practice. Hey, I may not have real estate in New York City, but I pay actresses. I don't give them some stupid line of "This is a good foot in the door." So I didn't need a jackass like that to lecture me about bad business practices. I pay my actresses, so that makes me superior. As he began to think up more lecture, I cut him short by inviting him to a private area where we wouldn't be interrupted. He declined the invitation. At that point I decided that I would no longer be authorized to give Rocco examples of professional behavior at a horror convention. I am unable to be calm when I am drunk. (By the way, I am not a mean drunk - I am sort of like a tasmanian devil in that everything in my path gets destroyed, but only because I have no coordination and I am cursed to have every kind of accident possible).

The other incident happened with the grand puba himself - Kaufman. I was at a different convention and Kaufman was signing autographs and having pictures taken, but neither he nor his staff gave a shit about the other vendors/movie-makers who were in the area. When you have a booth, that booth is essentially your storefront. That's for people who are curious about your stuff, not the fat jewish nerds who line up and drool as they are having gay fantasies about an old jew. I began the public relations by asking the Troma, politely, to mind their fans. That didn't work so I started telling their fans to give my area adequate (non gay) space. When that didn't work, I came out from my booth and started patrolling my area, and if I happened to step on someone's shoe, knock someone aside, or have any other contact, I apologized. I did not like being out there and I did not relish contact with fat jewish nerds, so I approached Mr. K himself and asked politely. At this time I was developing an intense hatred for him and his staff, because any sober person could have seen that the jew brigade were being dicks and acting discoureously. Whenever I head about the holocaust being a lie, I tend to believe it because there is no way that jews were able to form orderly lines for the gas chamber. Well, other vendors noticed what I was doing and were giving me the thumbs up. I actually have to thank Troma for that - if that experience hadn't happened I probably would not have made such good friends with the other movie companies. One such movie guy said, "Whatever you do, we'll back you up." (By the way, the guy who said that was jewish, so if you are jewish and pissed about my jew jokes, eat a bagel and relax).

I went up to Mr. K for the last time and repeated my request for crowd control. He told me that it was the fault of the guy who runs the event, so I shoudl talk to him. I replied that my problem was not with the convention, it was with him personally, and it was he and only he who was either going to fix it, or...

After that Mr. K made attempts thoughout his signing to maintain some jew control. It's not like his booth was swamped. But 15 fat jewish nerds with absolutely no concept of an orderly line takes up a bit of space, and their nerdiness is like bug spray to genuinely cool people who flee from the nerd-infested areas. When things had calmed down I studied the fanbase and was very confused. It was no shock when a wayward nerd looked at one of my DVD's and uttered, in contempt, "Oh , this looks like porn." I wanted to reply, "Oh, you look like a gay jew." I noticed that those nerds were noticeably repelled by my movies, so I asked the vendor next to me if Troma fans shop from him, and he grimaced as he said, "No - our customers are a different caliber."

Personally, I enjoyed the Toxic Avenger. In fact, I keep meaning to upgrade my VHS to a DVD. I haven't seen it in years, but I remember liking it a lot. Later on, when I was making my own movies and represented them at horror conventions, I walked past a Troma booth and talked to a very very very fat man, and he was happy to trade some Troma movies against some of mine. I keep forgetting his name, but the point is that he was very nice. Unfortunately, I didn't like any of the movies that I saw and I never attempted to trade again. And then of course I had the two bad experiences. Anyway, to leave this on a good note, Mr. K. tried to be cool in the aftermath of that showdown, so I was cool right back. I thik if something like that happens again, and I am not drunk, I will control myself and let someone else start the war.

5/22/2007 10:54:15 PM

134 posts

I've loved Troma for years. It's a common love I've enjoyed with my uncle for quite a few years now. My favorites are the Toxic Avenger Se3ries, Bloodsucking Freaks and Surf Nazis Must Die.

5/23/2007 12:51:35 AM

105 posts

HAHAHA!!!! That made my day! I would've thought Troma fans would love your movies. When I saw The Worst Horror Movie... that's what it kinda reminded me of, a Troma film. I thought you probably got the book Make Your Own Damn Movie by Lloyd Kaufman. HAHA!

5/23/2007 5:36:56 AM

BillZebub

219 posts

I'm actually going to re-make THE WORST HORROR MOVIE EVER MADE. It's next on the list after I do FRANKENSTEIN THE RAPIST. Due to the effects the movie might not be out until October.

I was going to make a HOW TO DVD and then I found out that Troma put out something like that. I had/have no inclination to watch their version or to read their book. What I was going to make (and still might) is a how-to DVD that I wished that I would have seen when I made my first movie. There were no books about cinematography available at that time, or should I say, available in the book stores I visited. My distributor told me that how-to DVD's are a very hard sell. I'll probably do it during an in-between-movies period or while I am doing post-production on something.

As for "Bloodsucking Freaks" - I LOVED that movie. But I don't consider it a Troma movie. I don't know the exact history of that movie, or how Troma got the rights to it. I've been learning that a lot of the movies that I discovered in the old movie rental places (the privately-owned stores back before DVD's hit) - some of those movies were released by certain companies, but the companies used the VHS tapes as masters (for the DVD's) or else fucked up the job in some way. I don't want to mention any names, especially because I haven't verified the info (for some reason, movie company people like to talk shit about other movie companies - I don't know if they do that to everyone or just me because I am such a reat lsitener).

I just want to point out that I don't hate Mr. K. and I don't think that I am better than he is. He just happened to irritate me when I was drunk, but Rocco has done that too, and I've done that to him (he once tackled me in his house and broke a flower pot with my head). If only these people knew that I am more dangerous to myself than to them, lol. Like I mentioned elsewhere, I am the most accident-prone person ever born.

I haven't seen the sequels to Toxic Avenger - are they any good?

5/23/2007 5:47:16 PM

105 posts

Toxic Avengers 2 and 3 are shit, even Troma admits this. But, you must see part 4: Citizen Toxie. Get the one with 2 discs. The second disc is a hilarious look at the making of the movie and the problems independent film makers have to put up with. I swear this stuff is right up your alley.

5/23/2007 6:30:40 PM

105 posts

By the way. I reeeaaallly loved The Worst Horror Movie... I think it's dead on 100% perfect the way it is. I can't believe you think it needs to be redone! NOTHING can top "yeeeaah, dats it baby, staarrt twitchin, yeeeaaaahh" NOTHING!!! George, Rocco, the shit demon, 52 card pick up. All magic! I'll never forget the time I first saw that "start twitching" scene. It was on a volume of Meatsocket. That's when I realized my concept of comedy was but a raindrop in your well of creativity...A grain of salt in your ocean...A peanut in your poo.... But, yeah I'll probably buy the remake anyway.

5/24/2007 2:05:06 AM

134 posts

Yeah, I know Bloodsucking Freaks wasn't a real Troma release, but whatever. It's an excellent movie nonetheless. Gratuitous nudity and creepy midgets, whats not to like?

As for the Toxic Avenger movies, 2 and 3 aren't THAT bad, they're watchable once. Part IV is indeed excellent though.

6/24/2007 4:22:47 AM

millertyme

17 posts

I'm really a big fan of Troma movies. I really like the old toxic avenger movies (even parts 2 and 3). The newer tromas that I've seen have been really fucking good too. Terror Firmer and Citizen Toxie are fucking fantastic and I find it really kind of surprising that Troma hasn't gotten gayer and less crazy over the years but in fact has gotten better and more fucked up. I haven't seen Poultrygeist yet but I think it's probably going to be pretty good. Theres no doubt about it they have put out some total shit over the years, and something having the Troma name on it is maybe slightly more likely to be utter garbage than it is to be good or even watchable.... They also release a lot of really cool shit that isn't "troma team" or whatever. I recently got a movie called "luther the geek" that was fucking great. Another really good one is "combat shock". They've released like about a million good movies and about a million total peices of shit, but I really think that you have to hand it to them just because of all the good movies they've released even if they cant be trusted for any kind of consistency.

6/24/2007 9:33:16 PM

134 posts

The thing about Troma is they will release anybody's movie. Most movies with the Troma name slapped on it is usually only distributed as far as Troma is involved. That's why pieces of shit movies like "Dead Dudes in the House" and "Space Zombie Bingo" hav been released tgo the public. I don't usually consider those real troma movies. The movies that are completely funded and released by Troma are usually very good.

Such great ones:

Toxic Avenger Series
Class of Nuke 'Em High Series
Terror Firmer
Tromeo and Juliet
Troma's War

6/25/2007 12:56:49 AM

105 posts

The last Troma film I saw was Tales from the Crapper. Fucking hilarious. The premise of that one was, Lloyd gave a bunch of money to some assholes that were supposed to make him a movie but they fucked it up so badly he decided to edit it into two shorts and dub over all the dialogue. That fat spic who plays Hurley, from Lost, is in the second half. They edited in farts and jokes about him being fat. Also there was a scene where he's with his friends looking through binoculars at girls on the beach, but when they hand him the binoculars it cuts to scenes of sandwiches and stuff. I just love seeing actors in Troma films before they got famous. Like Billy Bob Thorton, when he was in that fucking awful Biker Bitches in Zombie Town shit film. But, definitely get Tales from the Crapper. I hold it in as high regard as Tromeo & Juliet, Terror Firmer and Citizen Toxie easy. It's worth it just for the making of that tells the story behind the movie. Also Ron Jeremy and Trey Parker are in it.

6/26/2007 9:24:39 PM

BillZebub

219 posts

I just came back from a horror convention in Dallas. Troma had a booth there. One of the people from that booth came over to me at the end of the convention and asked if I would trade some of my titles. So I took the chance to get the Toxic Avenger movies. I will be getting around to them as time permits.

6/26/2007 10:29:47 PM

134 posts

Bill- beware- Toxie 2 is REALLY bad. Toxie 3 isn't great either, but 1 and 4 are fantastic.

8/27/2007 1:45:03 PM

roy

44 posts